Mycological Humor
- An Article for April 1st!
- Faith Based Mycophagy
- Mushroom Slang Terminology
A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates. The doctor said how he'd healed the sick, helped the lame ; but he was a sinner and was sent to Hell. The engineer told how he'd built homes for the homeless, etc. ; but he messed up the environment, so he was sent to Hell. The taxonomist was frightened by all this, but as soon as he mentioned his occupation, God said "You've already been thru Hell: Welcome to Heaven."
Did you hear about the fungus and the alga?
.....they took a lichen to each other.A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions. There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist. The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn't be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said, "let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline..." but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed "Shoot me! Shoot me!"
Q. What did the zoospore say as it was leaving the zoosporangium?
A. "After you, I encyst!"Q. What do you call a mushroom that buys all your drinks?
A. A fungi to be with.Q. Why did the fungus refrain from sex?
A. Because sex is a pain in the ascus.Said mycologist Linda, verbatim,
"When it comes to the earth stars, I hate 'em"
So asked by her master
To key a Geaster
She growled out a curse, "fornicatum!"Did you hear that the French are such mushroom lovers that they eat dried slices of regular button mushrooms with milk in the morning like we eat cereal?
.....they call it the "breakfast of champignons".A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."- A Recipe for Pig's Ears (Gomphus clavatus):
Rinse the pigs ears thoroughly. Pat dry and slice very thin. In a lightly oiled sauté pan place a piece of ginger to flavor oil and cook over high heat to release the flavor. Place the thinly sliced pigs ears into the pan and toss over high heat until lightly browned and caramelized (about 5 minutes). At this point add a clove or two of garlic to taste. Don't put the garlic in earlier as it will burn and provide an unpleasant bitter taste and aroma. Just let the garlic release its flavor and slightly brown and then immediately add a couple tablespoons of chicken stock and cover. Let stand to steam for 1 minute. The stock will have evaporated by this time. Place the pigs ears on paper towels to drain any excess oil and cover tightly with another layer of paper towel. Fold the edges of the paper towel inward to form a tight package of pigs ears. While still very hot transfer the package to the garbage can. This is the best treatment I know for pigs ears. (by David Bartolotta)
